Part I, Chapter Five
Connecticut 2010
She never could recall exactly when and how it happened, but one day she knew that this entity with whom she had some kind of relationship was not a human-type figure, which was, of course, to be expected since he was not human. Sometimes she voiced her questions or comments out loud, often just expressing them in her mind. In their discussions, if one can call such their interaction a “discussion,” she was quiet, concentrated on Avedar and awaited a response. At first there were no clear answers, just a “knowing” what she was being told and that she received information she couldn’t explain. This was one of those times.
Not sure if she had questioned Avedar about his physical appearance or if the information just appeared, but however it happened, she was quite clear that this entity/being did not look at all as any “angel,” Nicholas Cage in the movie “City of Angels,” the blond guy Charles saw on the beach when Avedar distracted him, or anything she had ever seen. She sensed he was a large creature similar to an upright lizard.
She remembered years ago when her friend Mary Jane mentioned a large lizard-like reptile, vaguely recalling being comforted by this creature while meditating during one of her stays in Santa Fe. And she remembered the name Jeremiah, but that memory always conflicted, in her mind, with the popular song, “Jeremiah was a Bull Frog” from her earlier years. Memories sometimes help and sometimes just confuse issues. Somewhere in all of this, however, was her current awareness that Avedar was in fact a big lizard, and his name was not Jeremiah. The concept, then, of a reptile-like creature was not entirely new to her, except the part where she might spend her future with him as her lover and spiritual guide.
Just when I was beginning to feel comfortable with my “relationship” with someone from another dimension who I met in bed during a sexual encounter that I really couldn’t mention to anyone, now I add another element that seems much too far-fetched. Perhaps I’m going crazy, which would certainly account for much of what’s happening. If not, though, guess I’ll enjoy the process as I try to figure out if this could possibly be real, although “real” is becoming a relative term. A large lizard…hummm.
In the ensuing days, Amanda felt as if she had to assure Avedar that his appearance, even though she had never seen him but his appearance as was “known” to her, was not a problem. She did consider this for a while, determining that if she was destined to have such a personal relationship with a guide, who was she to question his physical appearance, his celestial manifestation, or whatever form he had. She stated that to him and felt a warm, loving feeling spread throughout her body as her acceptance was tenderly welcomed.
Not content, of course, to know that he looked like a lizard, Amanda wanted a picture or some physical representation, although she did have that pin that Dustin had given her in Santa Fe, a beautiful three inch long silver lizard, with no coloring except black finish on the raised spots on the back and small shiny black stone inset eyes, looking similar except in color to a salamander or a gecko encountered in Florida. While she had the sense that Avedar was over eight feet tall and walked upright, this jewelry served as a reminder.
Frustrated with her research on trying to find a picture of some creature that looked like him, Amanda figured out one morning that there might be no images since finding a third dimensional representation of a fifth or higher dimensional figure would be difficult, and Avedar had explained that he couldn’t function at this lower level. Intuitively sensing there would not be any additional information on his looks until she could figure it out on her own, and again, not sure what that meant, she knew she would see him at the right time and not before.
A little annoyed, although knowing that just showed her impatience, she took the next logical step of finding some data on lizards in early times. What was the research on lizards? Could Avedar have descended from some being that had visited earth?
Since lizards are a type of reptile, Amanda started there. There is not much written about early reptiles and, unfortunately, most was unfavorable. Reptoids, a combination of reptiles and humans, played a prominent role in some early history. Most of that is “fringe” research, ideas from authors who believe in some rather far-fetched origins of humans. 0n the internet, she found reference to a book, You are Becoming a Galactic Human by Virginia Essene and Sheldon Nidle, which she had read in the early 90s when it was the rage of all metaphysical/spiritual/new age searchers and included a time-line that talked of warring reptoid factions who were driven from earth by humans 900,000 years ago. The problem was that these were negative and harmful to humans. That didn’t seem right, so she kept looking. Some material seemed too extreme for Amanda’s beliefs, as she chuckled to herself about the fact that much of what she believed would be characterized that same way by most of her acquaintances, friends and family. There seemed to be a continuum of beliefs from “bizarre and unproven” to “not-so-bizarre and unproven” to “factual.” While the line to factual was constantly moving, she wasn’t quite comfortable yet with the bizarre stuff. Of course, her latest encounter with her guide pushed her a little further into that category.
In some Native American myths, reptiles were considered to have enlightened human beings before the dawn of civilization. References were made to drug users who reported reptilian entities and aliens during hallucinations. This seemed to be getting closer to what she wanted or hoped to find. She remembered another book in her “To be Reviewed for Newsletter” pile called Supernatural by Graham Hancock, one of her favorite authors on pre-historic material. Searching through her notes, she found that Hancock describes human encounters in ancient civilizations with, among other things, therianthropic creatures which are part human/part beast. He suggests that interactions with such beings throughout the ages occurred through altered states. While Amanda was never in such a trance, she was beginning to see some similarity. Perhaps a quiet meditation was that altered state, not requiring drugs to achieve the same result. Could humans be progressing in their ability to connect with other dimensions? Is that what is happening here with Avedar?
She loved Hancock’s statement that,
"Living in societies elevated by technology to almost godlike heights, we have convinced ourselves, against the wise advice of our ancestors, that there are no supernatural intelligences – that spirits do not exist, that fairies are crazed delusions, and the aliens are just figments. We may be wrong."
“We may be wrong.” That seemed to sum up Amanda’s view of past beliefs, her own and those of others. If she were going to accept Avedar as a lizard, the information from Hancock and that particular statement could be the most significant assistance she would receive, at least at this point in her journey.
Feeling better about not being the only one encountering supernatural beings in unusual forms, she decided to find out more of her background with Avedar, something that would help her understand, especially since she wasn’t getting any help on the visual for him.
She did her usual greeting, writing “Good Morning, I ask and give thanks, God, for Your Assistance through Lord Michael with the help of Avedar and other guides,” which was her way of contacting a higher vibration. Lately, she had been receiving clearer and more direct responses from him. She hoped this would be true today.
The reference to God was simply a way of acknowledging her belief in a higher being, the name of that being less important than the idea of its existence. Her reference to Lord Michael was a little more complicated since she added this from her reading of The Urantia Book, a channeled missive over 2000 pages in length with extremely small print that purported to describe the origins of earth and its place in the Universe. She had finished the material twice, much of it only a few pages a day, so the process each time took at least a year or more. The book began with a description of the universe, discussed the history of earth, or Urantia, and then explained the life and teachings of Jesus. Parts of the book were difficult to understand, such as the explanation of the origins of the universe with the multitude of layers and levels that Amanda found complicated and useless, yet something resonated in her as she read and sensed a reliable voice hidden amongst all the words.
She did accept that Earth was part of a larger system, and there were many other planets, governed by an entity with the title of Lord Michael who had actually visited and lived on earth as part of the training for his current administrative position. Over the years she simply allowed her beliefs to evolve and change as her reading and research continued. Lord Michael, as an intermediary between her and something greater, remained in her consciousness and in these frequent written mediations, as she liked to call her entreaties to the spiritual world.
The last part of the prayer included Avedar, who was now center to her request. She usually added, "and other guides" just to be sure not to ignore any other beings that were assisting. Her Dad was often around and she would, at times, directly address him, but today Avedar was the one she wished to hear from.
“Okay, Avedar, here’s what I’d like to know. If we are so connected, am I from the same place as you were originally and are you still there? Did we have a past life together on earth?”
Avedar responded immediately. She rarely had to wait, although she had to keep her mind quiet when she expected an answer, and that was the difficult part.
“We have not had a lifetime together on earth, although our connection began long ago. We reconnected at birth or shortly thereafter in this lifetime. Our love connection is new, although it has been building over lifetimes. We are originally from the same place. That is one reason for the strong rapport. More I cannot say now. But know we will be together. I love you.
When you join me, I will show you a wonderful world. I am not able to physically be on earth. You will never “see” me except in vibrational visits. I am able to see what you describe or feel when you sit calmly and peacefully. At those times, I am with you and feel the vibration and energy of the moment. I feel the beauty, and when you are very calm, I get a glimpse through your eyes and actually see. But I already know much about earth, of course, from my contacts with others that I guide. At this point, I am focused exclusively on earth. This is a major transitional time and I, along with you and others, have chosen to take on this task to assist humans, and there is much to be done on your planet.”
Assuming “vibrational visits” meant when she was able to sense his presence, she thanked him, as always, and sat back to digest the information, knowing that to ask for clarification was useless since she had been given what she needed, at least according to Avedar, even if she wished for more, as she usually did.
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