As The Light of Venus Rose
Part I, Chapter One
Connecticut 2010
Amanda Peterson wondered about her latest thoughts. Why did she feel she was going to die and move on to another life on another dimension? She couldn’t quite grasp the whole concept. Reincarnation was not new, the existence of other planes was not new, and dying didn’t seem so scary. Yet this idea of accepting death, when she wasn’t even ill, to help her spirit guide, Avedar, on another level was something even her vivid imagination was having trouble comprehending. The thought, however, excited her. Crazy or not, this commitment, made after days of meditating, seemed real and believable. There was never any real doubt about her decision, but how could she ever explain this idea to anyone when there was so little clarity for her? And she wasn’t going to kill herself; somehow she was just going to die.
Disbelief became her companion for the next six months. Despite the nagging internal conviction, she couldn’t allow herself in the sane moments of the daylight to trust the seemingly insane idea of the spiritual, nightly communication. When she was brave enough to present the idea to her sister, Nancy listened sympathetically, which made her feel better, then offered a psychic reading with an acquaintance who proceeded to tell her that she was surrounded by negative energy and needed to drink more water. An astrology reading from a friend didn’t shed any light, either psychically or astrologically. Left with either trusting her own awareness or dismissing the idea as foolish, Amanda continued to proceed cautiously in her mind and spent weeks assessing if her fascination was simply wanting another challenge.
Although she was happy with her life, once the idea sank in, so did more and more dissatisfaction. While her research and writing continued to be inspiring, social activities left her feeling lonely and empty, whether in a crowd or a small group of friends. Any plans for the future didn’t quite measure up. National and international news became less interesting with all of the negativity to be transcended, and she felt a shift to a bigger picture, even if that image had little focus.
More thought created more excitement about a new adventure, with surprisingly no depression, as if she had been offered a job with a different future than anticipated, and that intrigued her. Dying wouldn’t be bad, even if she wasn’t ready to leave earth with the pull of family and friends and so many things to do. Facing the finality of death and uncertainty of the process became less and less frightening and she wondered why the idea didn’t worry her more. Exhilaration, not concern about life on another plane, permeated her being with the reassurance of reincarnation providing another life experience even if, in this case, that venture was on another planet. A psychic told her, many years earlier, that she had lived over 1500 lives on earth, both as male and female. Never sure, she joked with friends, whether that meant she was a slow learner or not, she did accept, after years of research into past lives, both hers and others, her hundreds of learning opportunities as a human. Perhaps now was the time to move onto another venue.
More than twenty-five years earlier, Amanda had begun her conscious quest into the mystical realm. That changed her life. During that time, she built and sold a successful business consulting firm, established her current spiritual/metaphysical training company, weathered two marriages and other romantic relationships, and lived in numerous towns and states. The most significant change, however, despite all outward appearances, was the internal growth from a seemingly self-assured woman to a less-secure but overall more accepting spiritual being.
Let’s see. How did I get here? How did I arrive at this feeling of not being satisfied, which is less about discontent and more about recognition that my way of life no longer works and a different approach is needed? Why do I think that I can help create that from another level? Where did I come up with a weird idea that I am being asked to leave this incarnation earlier than expected, or perhaps this was the plan all along, to work with a group on another dimension to impact, in some small way, earth’s evolution – whatever that means? I’m an educator, one of the consistencies in my life, so if I have been chosen, or more likely, if I volunteered, teaching would be involved. How I can help is totally beyond my understanding at this point, but I’ve learned not to worry about the details, oh, and that’s only taken about 60 years to accomplish. I can’t believe I’m not even concerned about the cause of death. I always imagined I would die of a heart attack as my Dad did and expect that will be my ending, but even if there is a fatal accident, life-threatening disease or something quite different, I seem to have no fear or obsession with not knowing at this point. Wonder how I’ll feel in a few months…if I’m still around. How did I get here?
Wish I could trace my spiritual focus back to one meaningful event. But then, there was the initial meeting with Avedar that began this chapter of my life.
