Part I, Chapter Six
Connecticut 2010
Early as usual, Amanda waited at the Starbuck’s Café in Barnes and Noble for her friend Marie, sipping on coffee and thinking about Avedar as she was apt to do when time permitted and few other distractions intervened. The morning was quiet with one other customer engrossed in her computer, so Amanda’s musings were uninterrupted. All of a sudden, she stopped and shook her head as a new idea surfaced. Avedar wasn’t a reptile, he was a dragon. A dragon?
Pulling out her iPad to check on information about and images of dragons, wondering what anyone did before this technology of instant gratification and a way to logically respond to an illogical thought, she found pictures that looked like she had always imagined Avedar, although there wasn’t any one picture with all the right features. She had come to see him as an upright eight-foot figure with hind legs longer than the front limbs, which were strong and not short or stubby as she knew from, seemingly, feeling them wrap around her often at night. His face was friendly, kind and gentle and he had a sense of humor reflected in his eyes and a constant hint of a smile with the corner of his mouth slightly upturned. That is how she always saw him, although further details and color eluded her. The internet images, however, were much closer than any of the reptile pictures she found. While the wings posed a problem as her vision never included them, fifth dimension creatures did not necessarily have to conform to third dimension realities.
Unlike the ancient reptiles that were portrayed mostly as negative creatures, dragons were friendly and considered good luck in China and Japan, and they were warm-blooded, which helped explain why she never felt quite right about the cold-blooded reptile-thing. 2012 was the Chinese Year of the Dragon, and she pondered if that had any significance. A website, colba.net, suggested dragons “accepted and taught those few men who sought the essence of truth.” Was that what she was doing, seeking the truth? She liked the second part which questioned what would happen if dragons revealed themselves to humans, and “…would we be able to accept another form of intelligence probably far superior to ours?” A dilemma she currently faced.
Marie interrupted her search, and Amanda rose to greet her with a big hug, “Hi, so glad we could get together, it’s been too long.”
“I know, good to see you. First, let me get my coffee, desperately need a cup this morning, and then tell me everything.”
Amanda looked up as Marie returned with coffee, admiring her slender body with shoulder-length blondish hair, colored from the now naturally whitish hue. Black pants with an orange shawl complemented a fashionable look, a trait she always admired about Marie.
The exchange of “How are you?” and “What’s new?” quickly moved to Amanda’s newest thoughts. “Didn’t you tell me about seeing dragonflies all summer long, often enough that you knew it wasn’t just a coincidence?” Marie asked as her caffeine kicked in and Amanda was nodding and looking quizzically at her and starting to say, “Yes, but I’m talking about…”
“I know,” Marie cut her off, as only close friends can do, “I know, you’re talking about dragons. But dragonflies, according to legend, were dragons, remember? Oh yeah, in the Medicine Cards by Jamie Sami, didn’t you say you met her in Santa Fe when you gave me that set of cards?”
Jamie Sams, the author of a tarot set called “Medicine Cards” lived outside of Santa Fe. Amanda spent a couple of afternoons visiting her and gained an appreciation for the importance of animals in the Native American tradition, and she used her Medicine cards often to look up the significance of animals that crossed her path.
“What else do the cards say? How did the dragon become a dragonfly? I don’t remember.”
“Me neither – just that the dragon was deceived by Coyote, the trickster, into changing. I don’t think it was a good thing, just not sure why,” Marie added.
“Oh sure, everything except the main point,” Amanda teased her. The conversation continued as Amanda reminded Marie about her encounters with Avedar, with Marie accepting the possibility of Avedar, even if he looked like a lizard or dragon. All she said was, “If that is your belief, I won’t question it,” quickly adding with a grin, “and I can see you with a dragon, and what is it exactly you’ll be doing together?” Amanda ignored her question, never mentioning the idea about leaving to work with Avedar, feeling to share that was unfair since Marie was very practical and, even though a spiritual person, she might have a hard time understanding, and Amanda wasn’t ready to defend her decision, not even to a best friend.
The conversation turned to updates on family members and mutual friends, and two hours later, after much laugher, they reluctantly got up from their place of respite for the afternoon rendez-vous, wishing, as always, there was more time to spend together. Their bond, which went back to their childhood, was strong. Nothing had ever interfered with that friendship, neither distance, different beliefs, backgrounds nor current demands. No matter how much time spent apart, their discussions always continued as if they had been together the previous day, and being in each other’s lives for so long meant the strong connection transcended time, and no topic was forbidden, except, of course, Amanda’s recent activity.
At home that afternoon, she went right to her set of Medicine Cards: The Discovery of Power Through The Ways of Animals by Jamie Sams and David Carson to check on the dragonfly. Marie was right, as usual. The dragon was tricked by Coyote into changing form, although there was no explanation of why. Dragonfly represented “illusion.”
I guess “illusion” is as good as any description for what I have been through with Avedar. From guide to lover to lizard to dragon, lack of clarity at play. Seems as if the universe is not allowing me specific, clear explanations or descriptions of Avedar and my adventures. Yet that doesn’t make it unreal, just ambiguous. I can accept that…for now, especially after Jennifer warned me about astrological uncertainty in Connecticut.
The fact that Avedar might be a dragon made no difference in their relationship or in Amanda’s thinking, except that she suspected she was closer to the truth and that he was part of a race that did have superior intelligence. She remembered reading some myths that dragons had helped humans on earth previously, and although she had no idea if that had occurred or not, she did accept that at this time this dragon was around to help.
Sometimes she felt as if she were a dragon like Avedar. It wasn't a heavy feeling but as if this, what one might imagine as a big, clunky body, were actually light and comfortable. She could sense the wings folded to her sides and imagine them opening, spreading out with a lightness and softness that seemed unexpected. Too many pictures of the heavy, clunky dragon bodies in movies such as Dragonheart with Sean Connery had initially warped her thoughts. For now, she was seeing her companion as a warm, caring dragon with or without wings.
And I can’t wait to email Jacqueline, “Guess what, friend, my entity is a dragon!” Oh yes, she will love this latest twist.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
As the Light of Venus Rose - Part I, Chapter Five
Part I, Chapter Five
Connecticut 2010
She never could recall exactly when and how it happened, but one day she knew that this entity with whom she had some kind of relationship was not a human-type figure, which was, of course, to be expected since he was not human. Sometimes she voiced her questions or comments out loud, often just expressing them in her mind. In their discussions, if one can call such their interaction a “discussion,” she was quiet, concentrated on Avedar and awaited a response. At first there were no clear answers, just a “knowing” what she was being told and that she received information she couldn’t explain. This was one of those times.
Not sure if she had questioned Avedar about his physical appearance or if the information just appeared, but however it happened, she was quite clear that this entity/being did not look at all as any “angel,” Nicholas Cage in the movie “City of Angels,” the blond guy Charles saw on the beach when Avedar distracted him, or anything she had ever seen. She sensed he was a large creature similar to an upright lizard.
She remembered years ago when her friend Mary Jane mentioned a large lizard-like reptile, vaguely recalling being comforted by this creature while meditating during one of her stays in Santa Fe. And she remembered the name Jeremiah, but that memory always conflicted, in her mind, with the popular song, “Jeremiah was a Bull Frog” from her earlier years. Memories sometimes help and sometimes just confuse issues. Somewhere in all of this, however, was her current awareness that Avedar was in fact a big lizard, and his name was not Jeremiah. The concept, then, of a reptile-like creature was not entirely new to her, except the part where she might spend her future with him as her lover and spiritual guide.
Just when I was beginning to feel comfortable with my “relationship” with someone from another dimension who I met in bed during a sexual encounter that I really couldn’t mention to anyone, now I add another element that seems much too far-fetched. Perhaps I’m going crazy, which would certainly account for much of what’s happening. If not, though, guess I’ll enjoy the process as I try to figure out if this could possibly be real, although “real” is becoming a relative term. A large lizard…hummm.
In the ensuing days, Amanda felt as if she had to assure Avedar that his appearance, even though she had never seen him but his appearance as was “known” to her, was not a problem. She did consider this for a while, determining that if she was destined to have such a personal relationship with a guide, who was she to question his physical appearance, his celestial manifestation, or whatever form he had. She stated that to him and felt a warm, loving feeling spread throughout her body as her acceptance was tenderly welcomed.
Not content, of course, to know that he looked like a lizard, Amanda wanted a picture or some physical representation, although she did have that pin that Dustin had given her in Santa Fe, a beautiful three inch long silver lizard, with no coloring except black finish on the raised spots on the back and small shiny black stone inset eyes, looking similar except in color to a salamander or a gecko encountered in Florida. While she had the sense that Avedar was over eight feet tall and walked upright, this jewelry served as a reminder.
Frustrated with her research on trying to find a picture of some creature that looked like him, Amanda figured out one morning that there might be no images since finding a third dimensional representation of a fifth or higher dimensional figure would be difficult, and Avedar had explained that he couldn’t function at this lower level. Intuitively sensing there would not be any additional information on his looks until she could figure it out on her own, and again, not sure what that meant, she knew she would see him at the right time and not before.
A little annoyed, although knowing that just showed her impatience, she took the next logical step of finding some data on lizards in early times. What was the research on lizards? Could Avedar have descended from some being that had visited earth?
Since lizards are a type of reptile, Amanda started there. There is not much written about early reptiles and, unfortunately, most was unfavorable. Reptoids, a combination of reptiles and humans, played a prominent role in some early history. Most of that is “fringe” research, ideas from authors who believe in some rather far-fetched origins of humans. 0n the internet, she found reference to a book, You are Becoming a Galactic Human by Virginia Essene and Sheldon Nidle, which she had read in the early 90s when it was the rage of all metaphysical/spiritual/new age searchers and included a time-line that talked of warring reptoid factions who were driven from earth by humans 900,000 years ago. The problem was that these were negative and harmful to humans. That didn’t seem right, so she kept looking. Some material seemed too extreme for Amanda’s beliefs, as she chuckled to herself about the fact that much of what she believed would be characterized that same way by most of her acquaintances, friends and family. There seemed to be a continuum of beliefs from “bizarre and unproven” to “not-so-bizarre and unproven” to “factual.” While the line to factual was constantly moving, she wasn’t quite comfortable yet with the bizarre stuff. Of course, her latest encounter with her guide pushed her a little further into that category.
In some Native American myths, reptiles were considered to have enlightened human beings before the dawn of civilization. References were made to drug users who reported reptilian entities and aliens during hallucinations. This seemed to be getting closer to what she wanted or hoped to find. She remembered another book in her “To be Reviewed for Newsletter” pile called Supernatural by Graham Hancock, one of her favorite authors on pre-historic material. Searching through her notes, she found that Hancock describes human encounters in ancient civilizations with, among other things, therianthropic creatures which are part human/part beast. He suggests that interactions with such beings throughout the ages occurred through altered states. While Amanda was never in such a trance, she was beginning to see some similarity. Perhaps a quiet meditation was that altered state, not requiring drugs to achieve the same result. Could humans be progressing in their ability to connect with other dimensions? Is that what is happening here with Avedar?
She loved Hancock’s statement that,
"Living in societies elevated by technology to almost godlike heights, we have convinced ourselves, against the wise advice of our ancestors, that there are no supernatural intelligences – that spirits do not exist, that fairies are crazed delusions, and the aliens are just figments. We may be wrong."
“We may be wrong.” That seemed to sum up Amanda’s view of past beliefs, her own and those of others. If she were going to accept Avedar as a lizard, the information from Hancock and that particular statement could be the most significant assistance she would receive, at least at this point in her journey.
Feeling better about not being the only one encountering supernatural beings in unusual forms, she decided to find out more of her background with Avedar, something that would help her understand, especially since she wasn’t getting any help on the visual for him.
She did her usual greeting, writing “Good Morning, I ask and give thanks, God, for Your Assistance through Lord Michael with the help of Avedar and other guides,” which was her way of contacting a higher vibration. Lately, she had been receiving clearer and more direct responses from him. She hoped this would be true today.
The reference to God was simply a way of acknowledging her belief in a higher being, the name of that being less important than the idea of its existence. Her reference to Lord Michael was a little more complicated since she added this from her reading of The Urantia Book, a channeled missive over 2000 pages in length with extremely small print that purported to describe the origins of earth and its place in the Universe. She had finished the material twice, much of it only a few pages a day, so the process each time took at least a year or more. The book began with a description of the universe, discussed the history of earth, or Urantia, and then explained the life and teachings of Jesus. Parts of the book were difficult to understand, such as the explanation of the origins of the universe with the multitude of layers and levels that Amanda found complicated and useless, yet something resonated in her as she read and sensed a reliable voice hidden amongst all the words.
She did accept that Earth was part of a larger system, and there were many other planets, governed by an entity with the title of Lord Michael who had actually visited and lived on earth as part of the training for his current administrative position. Over the years she simply allowed her beliefs to evolve and change as her reading and research continued. Lord Michael, as an intermediary between her and something greater, remained in her consciousness and in these frequent written mediations, as she liked to call her entreaties to the spiritual world.
The last part of the prayer included Avedar, who was now center to her request. She usually added, "and other guides" just to be sure not to ignore any other beings that were assisting. Her Dad was often around and she would, at times, directly address him, but today Avedar was the one she wished to hear from.
“Okay, Avedar, here’s what I’d like to know. If we are so connected, am I from the same place as you were originally and are you still there? Did we have a past life together on earth?”
Avedar responded immediately. She rarely had to wait, although she had to keep her mind quiet when she expected an answer, and that was the difficult part.
“We have not had a lifetime together on earth, although our connection began long ago. We reconnected at birth or shortly thereafter in this lifetime. Our love connection is new, although it has been building over lifetimes. We are originally from the same place. That is one reason for the strong rapport. More I cannot say now. But know we will be together. I love you.
When you join me, I will show you a wonderful world. I am not able to physically be on earth. You will never “see” me except in vibrational visits. I am able to see what you describe or feel when you sit calmly and peacefully. At those times, I am with you and feel the vibration and energy of the moment. I feel the beauty, and when you are very calm, I get a glimpse through your eyes and actually see. But I already know much about earth, of course, from my contacts with others that I guide. At this point, I am focused exclusively on earth. This is a major transitional time and I, along with you and others, have chosen to take on this task to assist humans, and there is much to be done on your planet.”
Assuming “vibrational visits” meant when she was able to sense his presence, she thanked him, as always, and sat back to digest the information, knowing that to ask for clarification was useless since she had been given what she needed, at least according to Avedar, even if she wished for more, as she usually did.
Connecticut 2010
She never could recall exactly when and how it happened, but one day she knew that this entity with whom she had some kind of relationship was not a human-type figure, which was, of course, to be expected since he was not human. Sometimes she voiced her questions or comments out loud, often just expressing them in her mind. In their discussions, if one can call such their interaction a “discussion,” she was quiet, concentrated on Avedar and awaited a response. At first there were no clear answers, just a “knowing” what she was being told and that she received information she couldn’t explain. This was one of those times.
Not sure if she had questioned Avedar about his physical appearance or if the information just appeared, but however it happened, she was quite clear that this entity/being did not look at all as any “angel,” Nicholas Cage in the movie “City of Angels,” the blond guy Charles saw on the beach when Avedar distracted him, or anything she had ever seen. She sensed he was a large creature similar to an upright lizard.
She remembered years ago when her friend Mary Jane mentioned a large lizard-like reptile, vaguely recalling being comforted by this creature while meditating during one of her stays in Santa Fe. And she remembered the name Jeremiah, but that memory always conflicted, in her mind, with the popular song, “Jeremiah was a Bull Frog” from her earlier years. Memories sometimes help and sometimes just confuse issues. Somewhere in all of this, however, was her current awareness that Avedar was in fact a big lizard, and his name was not Jeremiah. The concept, then, of a reptile-like creature was not entirely new to her, except the part where she might spend her future with him as her lover and spiritual guide.
Just when I was beginning to feel comfortable with my “relationship” with someone from another dimension who I met in bed during a sexual encounter that I really couldn’t mention to anyone, now I add another element that seems much too far-fetched. Perhaps I’m going crazy, which would certainly account for much of what’s happening. If not, though, guess I’ll enjoy the process as I try to figure out if this could possibly be real, although “real” is becoming a relative term. A large lizard…hummm.
In the ensuing days, Amanda felt as if she had to assure Avedar that his appearance, even though she had never seen him but his appearance as was “known” to her, was not a problem. She did consider this for a while, determining that if she was destined to have such a personal relationship with a guide, who was she to question his physical appearance, his celestial manifestation, or whatever form he had. She stated that to him and felt a warm, loving feeling spread throughout her body as her acceptance was tenderly welcomed.
Not content, of course, to know that he looked like a lizard, Amanda wanted a picture or some physical representation, although she did have that pin that Dustin had given her in Santa Fe, a beautiful three inch long silver lizard, with no coloring except black finish on the raised spots on the back and small shiny black stone inset eyes, looking similar except in color to a salamander or a gecko encountered in Florida. While she had the sense that Avedar was over eight feet tall and walked upright, this jewelry served as a reminder.
Frustrated with her research on trying to find a picture of some creature that looked like him, Amanda figured out one morning that there might be no images since finding a third dimensional representation of a fifth or higher dimensional figure would be difficult, and Avedar had explained that he couldn’t function at this lower level. Intuitively sensing there would not be any additional information on his looks until she could figure it out on her own, and again, not sure what that meant, she knew she would see him at the right time and not before.
A little annoyed, although knowing that just showed her impatience, she took the next logical step of finding some data on lizards in early times. What was the research on lizards? Could Avedar have descended from some being that had visited earth?
Since lizards are a type of reptile, Amanda started there. There is not much written about early reptiles and, unfortunately, most was unfavorable. Reptoids, a combination of reptiles and humans, played a prominent role in some early history. Most of that is “fringe” research, ideas from authors who believe in some rather far-fetched origins of humans. 0n the internet, she found reference to a book, You are Becoming a Galactic Human by Virginia Essene and Sheldon Nidle, which she had read in the early 90s when it was the rage of all metaphysical/spiritual/new age searchers and included a time-line that talked of warring reptoid factions who were driven from earth by humans 900,000 years ago. The problem was that these were negative and harmful to humans. That didn’t seem right, so she kept looking. Some material seemed too extreme for Amanda’s beliefs, as she chuckled to herself about the fact that much of what she believed would be characterized that same way by most of her acquaintances, friends and family. There seemed to be a continuum of beliefs from “bizarre and unproven” to “not-so-bizarre and unproven” to “factual.” While the line to factual was constantly moving, she wasn’t quite comfortable yet with the bizarre stuff. Of course, her latest encounter with her guide pushed her a little further into that category.
In some Native American myths, reptiles were considered to have enlightened human beings before the dawn of civilization. References were made to drug users who reported reptilian entities and aliens during hallucinations. This seemed to be getting closer to what she wanted or hoped to find. She remembered another book in her “To be Reviewed for Newsletter” pile called Supernatural by Graham Hancock, one of her favorite authors on pre-historic material. Searching through her notes, she found that Hancock describes human encounters in ancient civilizations with, among other things, therianthropic creatures which are part human/part beast. He suggests that interactions with such beings throughout the ages occurred through altered states. While Amanda was never in such a trance, she was beginning to see some similarity. Perhaps a quiet meditation was that altered state, not requiring drugs to achieve the same result. Could humans be progressing in their ability to connect with other dimensions? Is that what is happening here with Avedar?
She loved Hancock’s statement that,
"Living in societies elevated by technology to almost godlike heights, we have convinced ourselves, against the wise advice of our ancestors, that there are no supernatural intelligences – that spirits do not exist, that fairies are crazed delusions, and the aliens are just figments. We may be wrong."
“We may be wrong.” That seemed to sum up Amanda’s view of past beliefs, her own and those of others. If she were going to accept Avedar as a lizard, the information from Hancock and that particular statement could be the most significant assistance she would receive, at least at this point in her journey.
Feeling better about not being the only one encountering supernatural beings in unusual forms, she decided to find out more of her background with Avedar, something that would help her understand, especially since she wasn’t getting any help on the visual for him.
She did her usual greeting, writing “Good Morning, I ask and give thanks, God, for Your Assistance through Lord Michael with the help of Avedar and other guides,” which was her way of contacting a higher vibration. Lately, she had been receiving clearer and more direct responses from him. She hoped this would be true today.
The reference to God was simply a way of acknowledging her belief in a higher being, the name of that being less important than the idea of its existence. Her reference to Lord Michael was a little more complicated since she added this from her reading of The Urantia Book, a channeled missive over 2000 pages in length with extremely small print that purported to describe the origins of earth and its place in the Universe. She had finished the material twice, much of it only a few pages a day, so the process each time took at least a year or more. The book began with a description of the universe, discussed the history of earth, or Urantia, and then explained the life and teachings of Jesus. Parts of the book were difficult to understand, such as the explanation of the origins of the universe with the multitude of layers and levels that Amanda found complicated and useless, yet something resonated in her as she read and sensed a reliable voice hidden amongst all the words.
She did accept that Earth was part of a larger system, and there were many other planets, governed by an entity with the title of Lord Michael who had actually visited and lived on earth as part of the training for his current administrative position. Over the years she simply allowed her beliefs to evolve and change as her reading and research continued. Lord Michael, as an intermediary between her and something greater, remained in her consciousness and in these frequent written mediations, as she liked to call her entreaties to the spiritual world.
The last part of the prayer included Avedar, who was now center to her request. She usually added, "and other guides" just to be sure not to ignore any other beings that were assisting. Her Dad was often around and she would, at times, directly address him, but today Avedar was the one she wished to hear from.
“Okay, Avedar, here’s what I’d like to know. If we are so connected, am I from the same place as you were originally and are you still there? Did we have a past life together on earth?”
Avedar responded immediately. She rarely had to wait, although she had to keep her mind quiet when she expected an answer, and that was the difficult part.
“We have not had a lifetime together on earth, although our connection began long ago. We reconnected at birth or shortly thereafter in this lifetime. Our love connection is new, although it has been building over lifetimes. We are originally from the same place. That is one reason for the strong rapport. More I cannot say now. But know we will be together. I love you.
When you join me, I will show you a wonderful world. I am not able to physically be on earth. You will never “see” me except in vibrational visits. I am able to see what you describe or feel when you sit calmly and peacefully. At those times, I am with you and feel the vibration and energy of the moment. I feel the beauty, and when you are very calm, I get a glimpse through your eyes and actually see. But I already know much about earth, of course, from my contacts with others that I guide. At this point, I am focused exclusively on earth. This is a major transitional time and I, along with you and others, have chosen to take on this task to assist humans, and there is much to be done on your planet.”
Assuming “vibrational visits” meant when she was able to sense his presence, she thanked him, as always, and sat back to digest the information, knowing that to ask for clarification was useless since she had been given what she needed, at least according to Avedar, even if she wished for more, as she usually did.
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